Fun Project for Jerks

One of you cutie pie readers wondered why recovering the dining room chairs was such a complete nightmare.  And first, I will respond with the question:

Did you SEE those cushions??

I mean, there’s a reason why I allowed this to remain on our chairs for as long as I did.  I knew, going in, that I was going to hate myself and my entire life the second I started that project.  But I had a very important deadline approaching (of which you will learn about later – it’s thrilling, p.s.), and there wasn’t time to hire someone else.  So, since you asked, these are the reasons why I would never do this ever again.

Exhibit A:

upholster chair cushions with piping

This is an acceptable amount of staples to put on the bottom of a seat cushion.  I mean, where is that stuff gonna go?  How many staples could it possibly need?  The original upholsterer did not agree and put a solid line of staples around the entire perimeter, and I had to tear them out one-by-one with a pair of craft pliers on all six chairs.  Murder.

Exhibit B:

upholster chair cover with piping

That is a lot of piping.  A LOT.  And because I figured it was best to use the original rope inside–to ensure I had the appropriate lengths and everything–I completely ripped apart all six covers.  And then, guess what?  Not once, on one cushion, were they the right size.  Leading to unfortunate sh*t like thisWhat? Also, have fun cutting out the fabric for all of that piping.

Exhibit C:

upholster chair cushions with cut outs shapes piping

Look at those cut-outs.  And then look away.

So anyway, my hands got seriously beaten up and I wanted to kill everything.  Oh and the aforementioned reader wasn’t being an a$$hole, she just wanted to know if she should take on a similar project.  And I would say, if you are full of self-loathing, then absolutely yes.  By the way, you totally know I’m going to do this again right?  I’m such a jerk, I know I will definitely convince myself to do this again.

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5 Comments

Filed under MADE IT

5 responses to “Fun Project for Jerks

  1. Maggie

    Haha, this post fills me with all sorts of joy & loathing :) I just decided a few days ago that I’m going to completely paint & reupholster my dining set, woooooo!

  2. Hilarious! This reminds me of my experience recovering our dining room chairs (http://urbancholita.com/2010/11/12/do-it-your-own-fing-self/), and our cushions were nowhere near as complex. I wish I would have kept the piping on ours, but I definitely did not have the skilz back then to make it happen. I highly recommend a staple remover should you attempt this again.

  3. Upholstery piping s-u-c-k-s. Sucks. I took an upholstery class and even with serious help from the instructor, I eff-ing hated it. Your chairs are gorgeous, though. Worth it, right?

  4. erinina

    Beautiful chairs! I totally don’t want to try this, but I’m impressed, they look great!!!

  5. I love this. Just discovered your blog at refinery 29. I have 4 louis shaped rattan dining room chairs covered in shitty fabric… I can’t decide on a fabric to recover them in so we have been using them as is for the past 6 months, the piping does look fab! Maybe I pay someone else to do them…. Thanks for sharing – your blog’s a fun read!

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